#sorry i haven't been very active the past few days i've been feeling kinda out of it 😞

[flowerakatsuka]

i can't remember if i ever mentioned this tidbit about them before — since their dad is an art teacher and encouraged all his kids to be creative from an early age, kuroba eventually picked up drawing as a hobby. they don't it as much as they used to, but it still comes in pretty handy sometimes with their job, ( especially when they're bored and need something to do with their hands. ) i imagine their style to be kinda like a simplified version of seizo watase's work.

[voidscarredadjudicator]

Hey guys. Sorry for being quiet for a month. Hopping on here to let y'all know that I do still have a pulse. Things have been... fine? I guess? Here's a bit of a wordy update on my situation right now, but the tl;dr is, I'm good, HE is still on hiatus, but I'll get back into the groove soon hopefully. Also happy holidays!

The mysterious and vague 'personal life stuff' is still ongoing, and I really don't know how long it'll be something that I have to deal with. I'm continuing to not elaborate because it is very much a personal life thing, but I can assure you that nobody's dying or anything grim like that.

On an only somewhat related note, my expendable income has shrank dramatically in the past few months, so I've been having to get a lot more stingy with what I spend money on. I'm not poverty stricken; I can still afford rent and bills and groceries and whatnot, I just gotta cut corners where I can so I can actually build up my savings.

What does this mean for Humanity's Endling? Well, it's... still on hiatus, technically. But really it just means I'm picking up more shifts than I'd usually care to, which means less time to actually work on it. If work were being done on it to begin with. I'm also cutting out my NSO subscription, which unfortunately means I will not be playing Splatoon 3 much at all anymore. Granted, I was kinda taking a break from it already, so it's not like I've been getting my money's worth of the subscription anyways. So if you were curious about my absence during this most recent Big Run, or the lack of a lengthy season observation/headcanon post like last time, that is why.

All of that said, it's not like I haven't been writing at all - just been hard focusing what creative juices I'm still able to generate given my situation on the accursed TTRPG I've mentioned in prior rambles, as that's an actively running thing that I kinda need to constantly pump stuff out for.

Speaking of which, I pulled a Super Mario Galaxy and wrote a whole ass children's book for the players to find as a lore thing. It was written with the intention of just being a normal children's book in a bubble, but when viewed with the context of the entire campaign thus far, takes on a completely different meaning. Which is to say, you don't need to know a damn thing about the campaign to appreciate the story - a theory I tested by having two people who aren't players read it.

One almost cried. The other actually cried. And when the players found it in our most recent session, one of them also cried, and we had to take a breather after the fact.

Not to pat myself on the back or anything, but I feel like that's one hell of an achievement. So I am pretty proud of myself for that. If you guys are interested, I might clean it up a bit and post it either on Ao3 as an original work or just straight onto this tumblr. It's only about 2k words, so it should fit nicely in a single post.

That's all I can really think of to say at the moment. Again, even though I might seem a bit quiet, I am still here. I take a peek at tumblr at least once a day to see if anyone's sent any asks or anything like that, so don't be afraid to toss something into my inbox if you have a question.

Oh, and for the anon who sent an ask suggesting me to upload what I have of Act II done already - I don't exactly plan my stories in a linear fashion, nor do I write them as such either. It's closer to me thinking of the major moments I wanna do, plotting out how to connect them, refining, refining, refining, rearranging, refining, scrap half of what I have done, rearranging, suddenly having an epiphany, scrapping another chunk... yeah, it's a bit chaotic. I see what you're trying to say though, and I do appreciate the suggestion, but it can't really be done with the way I go about writing.

That's it from me. Happy Holidays. Play Cyberpunk 2077. It's a good game, I swear. Or Undertale Yellow if you own a toaster. It's me, I own a toaster. I played Cyberpunk on my brother's computer. Thanks, bro. Love you.

[lesbianwithchainsaws]

Sorry to vent post again, but things have been so weird lately and I feel like I need to get some of this out.

I've been feeling kinda awful the past few weeks already, but the past few days it feels like it's gotten worse. I feel like I haven't had proper interaction with anyone for weeks and I think that's really getting to me. Especially as there have been events where I know I could go to and maybe meet new people, but I get so anxious every time so I don't go. Having a job is also proving to be really difficult, even though it overall isn't a job that is that difficult (it's a lot more fitting for me, as I can work from home and don't have to interact with customers), but doing this 5 days a week is killing me. And when I don't have to work, other things just don't feel as enjoyable lately. Like I enjoy writing and making edits and talking about blorbos, but for some reason all of that has been feeling a bit empty? I'm not sure how else to describe it. It's not like I don't enjoy it at all, I swear I do, but especially the past few days, it's just been feeling weird. Maybe less enjoyable. I think maybe in a way I'm hoping me posting these things will get me some human interaction, which I've barely had lately? And that's not a good reason to be making something. I should do it because I enjoy it, not because I want someone to tell me something about it. And people have been very nice and talking to me, so it's not a problem with anyone else. It's a problem with me, I've been feeling lonely and lost in life for almost my entire life and for a brief period I didn't feel as bad because I could make and post things about things I like, but lately it hasn't been as fun. So I guess a part of me was relying a bit too much on that, and now it doesn't feel as great? I don't know. I'm really sorry about that.

I've tried to reach out to some of my irl friends and I'll probably talk to some of them later today, also I'm meeting up with a friend next week and hopefully that will make things better.

In the meantime, maybe I might post a bit less for a while? There are still things I want to write and make, and I'll definitely do that, but I might have to try to do that thing where I step away from social media for a bit. I know it's not really that important and maybe no one cares, but yeah, might be a bit less active for a little bit. I just don't want to feel as awful, nor do I want to be sad-posting a bunch. I don't know, there's not much of a point to this and I doubt people care about this stuff, but I need to get these feelings out

[thechaosmuses]

Hey lovelies, I'm really sorry I haven't been here the past few days- I've just kinda had a lot going on.. There's something going on with a friend in the Discord server, I found out today after going to Urgent Care that I've got a sinus infection that if I had to guess I've had for a little bit now because I've been having symptoms for a while, I just didn't think much of it because I've never had a sinus infection like it, and my period is also right around the corner so pmsing always makes me super fatigued. So with all of that plus the usual seasonal depression I get this time of year and me being in my head a lot recently has just made it very difficult for me to do a lot of stuff but I've got medicine now to take care of the physical stuff going on with me and I've got a different kind of medicine to help with the rest, plus I just have a good feeling about Christmas this year, partially because I might know what one of my presents is and I am excited-

Anywayssss- I promise I am gonna try and be more active here tonight and the next couple of days. I hope everyone is having a great day/night and happy holidays to you all ❤️

[sleepygamerotaku]

SIIGGGHHH

ok ok so ik that nobody asked but these past few weeks have been. too much chaos for me to handle but you don't have to read all of this, so you can simply skip down to where the text becomes blue!

in short i have a lot to do (thankfully only one(of which is school related, it's just a math assignment that i wasn't able to finish today, or technically two as i have to create a list of things i need to do literally or just mentally for the school councilor as i've been talking to her to a little bit and trying to get all of my uhm. horrid issues out there) and for the most part it's just art. i have around 19 Inktober prompts that i'd like to finish before October ends as well as a Kaveh drawing i want to finish in time for next Wet Kaveh Wednesday as well as a few other drawings i started and haven't gotten around to finish

now ontop of this i have video games to play, login bonuses to collect and dailys to complete as well as my Halloween costume (feel free to ask if you want) and then i might just redo my theme and see about posting more content and being more active

i might also try to remake my discords server icon and perhaps change the name so if you have any suggestions on either what the icon should be or server name ideas please lmk!

hopefully i'll be able to get back around to posting contact regularly and maybe posting more edits on tiktok (i'm not entirely sure as i have an irl friend who follows me on tiktok and i'm not too sure if she'll care but i want to talk to her about that first)

i've also been meaning to do a reference sheet for s/i's character design, as well as a few other projects.

now, most importantly, i'd like to start marking today as an anniversary of sorts? as my following grows and i get better at making content as well as posting consistently i want to celebrate my growth every year on October 19

i'm fully aware that i still have a few years to get my life sorted out and all but i genuinely think that content creation is what i want to do. it's always been fun for me to simply create things and share that with others as well as just chatting about whatever, even if i'm really socially awkward i love being a part of these communities and i like to think that i'm starting my own by making things, sharing those things and talking with my friends and mutuals about it.

i'm not really sure if i'm going to make it very far but i'm willing to try my best and see how much progress i make in art, writing, editing, singing, dancing and cosplaying. so, sorry for getting kinda sentimental there but thank you guys for staying with me and helping me along the way!

i'll try to post at least two different things (on all platforms) each day<33 i'm going to go work on some stuff but for now here's a few discord servers you should join if you haven't already!!

[bbyheedeungie]

Fluttering Machinery | Robot! Sunghoon AU

Genre: Fluff, mild angst

Pairings: Robot! Sunghoon x Reader

Warnings: Character death, little suggestive content

Synopsis: Sunghoon was a humanoid built by your father, with the sole purpose of taking care of you once he passes away. But it seems like taking care of you came with discovering emotions that wasn't necessary for cooking, cleaning, and keeping you safe. What is this warm fuzzy feeling that resonates deep inside Sunghoon's mechanism?

It's been months. 6 dreadful months since your father has passed away. The doctors have warned you that he didn't have much time left, but that didn't make the goodbyes hurt any less.

You were 4 years old when your mom left you and your father for another guy. A more successful guy. Your father was bright, with an insatiable hunger for discovery and invention. But his field of work didn't always bring food to the table. And so on most days you had to, well, compromise.

But you loved your father so much, and still do. Although you didn't grow up to be a scientist like him, you knew the basics on automation and robotics. You were 11 years old when you first saw it, the humanoid that he worked on for years came to life before your own very eyes.

He had no skin nor face that made him look human yet. Just a chunk of metal with a head, arms and legs that moved mechanically. Nevertheless, you will never forget the joy and pride in your fathers' face as he watched his creation. The humanoid was a work in progress and you knew one day he's going to change the world. Unbeknownst to you, he was going to change your world.

And now here you are, years into the present as you stood infront of the humanoid who had his eyes shut. Yep, he's a he now. He is Humanoid SH-1282. Your father made him for the purpose of serving the community, to help people. But when he discovered his illness, he started making alterations to his design. He made SH-1282 to serve as the perfect companion, but only to you.

He filled the humanoid's hard drive with everything that he'll need to help you and take care of you. He input cooking, cleaning, and even martial arts. You sighed, remembering your father's last words.

"I'm gonna leave him in your care now, err leave you in his care or whatever. Take good care of each other okay? I love you both so much."

You were such a crybaby, holding on to your father's arm as the nurses were ushering you to wait outside because the doctors are about to perform surgery.

"You'll be okay." Your father mouthed as he smiled knowingly in content.

You reach for the humanoid's neck to find the power button, finally deciding to activate him after holding it off for months.

You held your breath as his eyes open, immediately scanning his surroundings. His eyes land on you, a smile forms on his lips.

"Hi, I'm SH-1282. It's nice to finally meet you, Y/N." He said naturally, offering his hand. If you didn't know any better, you would think he was a normal boy.

You let out a shaky breath as you accept his hand. He frowns, it seems like he is studying your facial expression and posture.

"You seem like you are in distress. Are you alright?" He asks in concern.

"Yeah, I am." You reply weakly.

"Will a hug improve your mood?" He asks. He was programmed to know about the benefits of physical intimacy, but he was also programmed to know consent and so he will not do anything unless you want to.

You contemplated, biting your lip.

"No, thank you." He simply nods, stepping out of his charging port.

"Will you show me around the house?" He asks and you nod.

"Damn this feels so awkward." You think to yourself.

"So here's the living room." You say as SH-1282 takes a good look around the area, his eyes falling to the dirty coffee table with tons of papers stacked messily. The couch looked greasy, with breadcrumbs stuck to the sides of the couch cushions. He scrunches his nose, involuntarily adding a new emotion to his database: disgust.

And as you led him to the kitchen, this emotion intensifies as he sees the containers of Chinese takeouts and cup ramen littered around the counter. He walks to the fridge and finds it empty except for a carton of milk that you put into your cereal for breakfast.

This awakens another emotion for the humanoid, frustration. He pinches the bridge of his nose as he contemplates on what to do with the mess, aka you.

"This won't do. You have been living unhealthily which may reduce your chances of living a long life."

You scoff, "Excuse me?" He gives you a dead stare, an eyebrow raised.

"No, excuse me while I clean up all this. I'll leave you to your own devices, thank you for showing me around today." He says sassily as he goes to find where you hide your cleaning utensils. You stood there dumbfounded.

"Unbelievable." But you let him be anyway. He wasn't wrong, you've been a total mess this past few months but that was all because of the grief. You basically had no family now.

And so for the rest of the day, you lock yourself in your room and do homework. About 5pm, you hear a soft knock at your door.

"Hello, it's me. Can you spare me a minute? I have something to ask of you." You inwardly groan, not really wanting to face the humanoid.

"Can you accompany me to get groceries? I swear this will only happen one time. It is only because I am not yet accustomed to my location. But after I mentally note the directions, you won't have to come with me next time." He didn't really want to bother you, but he knew that going out by himself and getting lost will be much more bothersome for you.

"Sure thing, just let me change into— oh no, you have no other clothes. It's kinda chilly outside today." You mentally facepalm yourself. Why didn't I go shopping for men clothes first before activating him?

"That is fine, I am immune to any temperature." He says as-a-matter-of-fact. You roll your eyes.

"I know that but people will probably get suspicious to see a man walking around in a shirt and jeans when everybody else has coats on. We need you to fit in as much as possible."

You search for your father's old coat that you refused to throw away even months after he's passed.

"Sorry dad, but he kinda needs this right now." And so you dress the humanoid in your oversized university sweatshirt (which surprisingly fits him perfectly) and your father's old coat.

"How do I look? Will I fit in now?" He asks as he scans his appearance in the mirror.

"You look—" absolutely breathtaking. You had every urge to slap yourself. Your father really didn't play around when he made the humanoid's face. He could pass up as an idol. And the cute little mole on his nose was a good addition to his features that made him even more realistic.

"Great. People won't suspect a thing."

The two of you head out. Contrary to your expectations that he would marvel at everything he sees outside, he just casually looks around. You ride the bus together, and the humanoid processes everything that you do, noting how everything works.

What caught you by surprise though, is how he immediately stands up in instinct to let an old lady sit down in his place. He sure was programmed with manners and chivalry. You smiled at the thought.

You made your way inside the grocery store, only intended to grab a basket but the humanoid insisted on a push cart.

"We have so much to buy, I've taken a mental note of everything we'll need." You simply roll your eyes and let him push the cart around as you wandered behind him. You look around as he reads the nutritional facts of every single thing he sees.

"This is definitely going to take a while." You muttered.

"Y/N? Is that you?" A voice squealed. You hissed and attempted to turn away, pretending you didn't see her. The humanoid saw how you reacted and swiftly rushed to your side in a protective stance. The stranger eyes the humanoid, her eyes sparkling at the sight of such a gorgeous man.

"Why hello there. Y/N you didn't tell me you've been busy with your boyfriend, we haven't hung out in a while." Both of your eyes widened at the misunderstanding.

"Oh, no he's not— we aren't—" You tried to explain but she just laughed out loud.

"Look how flustered you are. You know what, it's okay. But we have a lot of catching up to do!" She said, squishing your cheeks in a playful manner.

"So what's your name, handsome stranger?" She asks, turning to the confused humanoid.

"I'm S—"

"Sunghoon! His name is Sunghoon." You blurted out. Sunghoon was the name of your childhood crush when you were like 7 but that'll have to do. Unfortunately, it seems that the humanoid got even more confused.

"I am Y/N's—"

"Neighbor. He lives next door to my apartment. I was just showing him around because he just recently moved into the city." You say quickly. She can't know that you're living with a guy. Even if said guy wasn't human.

"Awww how sweet of you to go shopping with your neighbor." She said, winking at you. She's definitely not convinced.

"I'm Yeonmi, Y/N's friend." She introduced, offering her hand to Sunghoon. He took her hand reluctantly.

"You mean my super obnoxious friend." You roll your eyes.

"Shut up, you love me." She teased. Admittedly, you've been avoiding her for months now. Ever since your father passed, it was as if you didn't want to deal with anyone anymore, with the fear of being left behind again. So you shut everyone out. You know it was a very selfish move and must've made everyone worry, but you have yet to figure out how to fix things back to how it is.

You said your goodbyes not without a long, tight hug from Yeonmi and Sunghoon noticed from his scanners how your vitals greatly improved from it. This made him feel another new emotion: relief. He was very thankful for your friend who made you feel better.

You continue venturing down the aisle of food, and you find the humanoid smiling to himself. He notices your attention on him and he shakes his head, as if shrugging his thoughts off.

"What?" You asked.

"You gave me a name. Although I'm unsure if it is necessary, thank you." He says genuinely as he smiles at you, your heart skipping a beat.

"You're welcome, Sunghoon." You smiled back.

He picked up lots of fruits and vegetables, with you whining the whole time. Your whines unlocked another emotion of his; annoyance.

"No wonder her father thought she is in need of taking care of, she acts like a child." He concludes, running his fingers through his hair as he lets you get an ice cream of your choice. Oddly, seeing a bright smile on your face as you show him what flavor you got seems to put him at ease.

The two of you got home at dawn, with quickly stacking up the groceries into the cabinets and fridge, with you slumping down on the now squeaky clean couch.

It had been quite a long day and you found yourself dozing off. You woke up from the light tap on your shoulder, eyes fixating on Sunghoon with your apron wrapped around his torso.

"I could get used to this." You thought, admiring how adorable the humanoid looked but quickly pushing the thoughts away.

"Sorry to wake you, it's time for dinner." He announces and you lazily nodded, not before yawning and stretching your arms.

"Uhh, what is this?" You asked, eyeing your plate.

"It's your dinner." He says nonchalantly, expecting you to start eating. Your face shows utter disgust at the plate of vegetables.

"Please don't make me eat that." You begged. Sunghoon rolls his eyes; a trait he adapted from spending just a day with you.

"Don't be dramatic, vegetables are good for you." He states, taking the plate from you and attempting to feed you.

"Come on, say ah." He says playfully. After realizing how much you acted like a child, he researched on how to take care of children and downloaded it into his database. You scrunch your nose, leaning away from the food and shooting him a glare.

"Sunghoon, I'm not a kid." You deadpanned.

"Oh, but you won't get your ice cream if you don't eat this." He says, pouting at you teasingly. He's really good at this. With a sigh, you open wide and allow him to feed you.

"Yep, definitely a kid." He thinks to himself as he smiles in satisfaction, another emotion unlocked.

That night, you decided to move his charging port (with his help) from the lab into the spare room of the apartment.

"You know, I'm completely okay with staying at the lab." He reasoned but you quickly hush him.

"Nope. That is no way to treat a person. You deserve your own room, okay? A room that you can fill with your own stuff and decorate with your own preferences. End of discussion." You sassed as you fix his charging port into place. Sunghoon blinked at you, unable to express how grateful he is of how kind you are to him.

"She wants to treat me like a real human being." He thinks, his mechanical heart overwhelmed with gratitude.

Days went on with a routine, with him cleaning all day and you attending online classes. There were occasional bumps in the road, with you getting annoyed with how much of a neat freak he is and him getting irritated with how lazy you are at taking care of yourself. You've also taught him how to watch tv, deciding not to let him use the internet yet because he might gain too much unnecessary information online.

And so on a saturday night, you sat together on the couch as you watched figure skating competitions. Sunghoon was at complete awe the whole time, studying how the skaters moved through the ice.

"I want to skate too." He states absentmindedly, attention still on the television. You smiled, thinking how it was the first time he actually said he wanted something.

"Then let's do it, let's go skating tomorrow." You say, his head immediately shot to you.

"What, really?" Sunghoon asks in disbelief, his eyes widening.

"Yes, really. Although I'm warning you, I don't know how to skate." You laughed, with him chuckling as well.

"Then we'll learn together." He promises.

What a total lie that is. He didn't need to learn, as you watched him move swiftly against the ice, the wind in his hair as he circled around, his focused eyes twinkling in the fairy lights. He looked ethereal. You could have sworn there were tears there as you cheered him on like a proud momma. Ah, they grew up so fast.

People at the park also stopped to watch Sunghoon, whispering about how talented the young man is. His eyes caught yours, and you weren't sure if you were seeing things but you thought you saw him send you a wink and smile.

"The TV been teaching him things." You muttered, blushing but not from the cold. Sunghoon skates towards you, pulling you with him. You're eyes widened in fear.

"N-no Sunghoon I can't—" but he was already leading you through the ice, eyes never leaving yours.

"You can." He whispers, taking you by the waist as he spun you around. You giddily laughed as you threw your arms out, savouring the chilly air. You didn't even notice the people watching and cooing at you as some joined in as well.

That night, Sunghoon felt something he never felt before, and you in a long time. You felt happy.

"Say aaaah~" Sunghoon said as he fed you chicken soup. You caught a cold from skating yesterday and now you're wrapped in a super cozy blanket with Sunghoon worrying about you.

"You know I can feed myself right?" You said, swallowing the food.

"I know, but I just feel responsible because I was the one who wanted to skate. You got sick because of me, and that kinda defeats my purpose because I'm supposed to be keeping you healthy." He rambled. You roll your eyes at him.

"Colds are normal, okay? Besides, I haven't had that much fun in a while. Thank you for that, Sunghoon." You say, reaching up to tussle his hair playfully. He froze, cogs in his mind unable to process as something inside him stirred, but in a pleasant way.

--

"So you dance while rubbing your body on a stranger?" Sunghoon questions, but he's not sure if he wants to know the answer. Tonight, you wore a simple black dress that teasingly showed a little bit of cleavage and a decent length of fabric that hugged tightly around your upper thighs but had a daringly high slit. Sunghoon approves and disapproves at the same time.

"Yeah, it's kinda like that. But don't worry, I won't be doing that. I'll just stay by the bar the whole time." You reassured as you struggled to put on your strappy heels. Sunghoon kneels down infront of you and helps you clasp the straps around your ankles, handling it very delicately. Your heart thumps as he looks up at you.

"Are you sure you don't want me to accompany you?" He asks for the fifth time as he follows you around the house like a puppy. You sigh, actually considering it. Although it was supposed to be a girl's night according to Yeonmi, you thought maybe having Sunghoon tag along wouldn't do harm.

But it did. It did harm to you, alright. And you wanted to harm those girls who kept on grinding their asses onto Sunghoon as slow, sexy music played. You were fuming, regretting dressing Sunghoon in such fashion that screamed big D energy. Why am I being so possessive? But then again, Sunghoon does look uncomfortable. I should go save him. Yeah, I'll do that.

"Hold my drink." You tell Yeonmi as you made your way to Sunghoon.

"You go girl! Get your man!" Yeonmi cheered drunkly.

Your train of thoughts were blurred by the alcohol as you struggled to walk straight. You had only one clear thought in mind: Sunghoon. I need to get to Sunghoon.

Sunghoon stood uncomfortably, eyeing the girls who rubbed their bossoms and derriere all over him. Is this supposed to be fun? He thinks innocently. He sees you walking towards him, swaying your hips side by side as you strode towards him like a predator.

Girls hovering around him going unnoticed as you were the only one he could see.

Stunning, beautiful. He thought.

"Hey handsome, care to dance?" You asked, pulling him to you before he could even answer. The girls spat at you, telling you to 'get in line' but you just shot them a smug look.

"Sorry ladies." Sunghoon apologized, but his smile told otherwise as he let you pull him away from them.

"You don't know how badly I wanted to get away from—" He froze in his spot as you wrap your arms around his neck, inching closer than ever before. You felt bold, but maybe that was just the alcohol in your system. And as you started moving your body against Sunghoon, you knew it wasn't just you who felt the heat. His large palms go down south, resting on your swaying hips as both of you moved to the sultry rhythm.

His mechanism was going nuts, threatening to malfunction as his sensors detected your very close proximity to him. Whatever you were playing, it was dangerous. But Sunghoon couldn't help but to want more, to desire more.

"Y/N." He whispers, and you look up at him with half lidded eyes. And damn did he find you so sexy right there, under the strobe lights. No girl in the club could ever compare.

"Home?" You suggested.

"Home." He agrees.

As you got in the cab, you immediately find yourself half straddling Sunghoon's lap as you attempt to kiss him. Luckily, Sunghoon can think clearer now and concludes that a drunk Y/N is a very horny Y/N. And though the thought that it was only the alcohol that made you want him made him feel sad, he knew it was wrong to demand such things from you.

And so with your futile attempts to get into his pants, he gently lays your head on his shoulder and hugs you to keep you still. But even that couldn't stop you from squirming to get away from his hold, trying to get some action. He chuckles as he held your hand tightly in his to prevent it from landing into his crotch.

"Now now, you have to stay put. I won't be taking advantage of your state." He scolds gently. And by the time the cab had stopped in front of the building of your apartment, you were fast asleep in Sunghoon's arms.

Times like these were when Sunghoon is glad he was made of aluminum. He scooped you up in his arms like a pillow as he walked up to your apartment. You snuggled up into his chest, looking so innocent as you soaked up his warmth. Sunghoon cooed about how adorable you are, talking to you in your sleep.

He placed you delicately on your bed, contemplating whether to change your clothes or not. He decided not to, noting how your privacy is important to you. You're too drunk and asleep to give him permission right now anyway. He took off your heels and wiped your makeup off very gently, and tucked you in properly.

Long minutes pass as he studies your face, stroking your hair softly as the corners of his mouth lift up unconsciously. He really loves taking care of you. He loves you.

This realization hits him like a truck of overwhelming emotions, but it all makes sense to him now.

"I love you, Y/N." He whispers, leaving a soft kiss on your forehead before retiring to his own room.

[honghunni]

"I'm going to fucking ruin you today."

San x Bottom male reader

Non Idol oneshot

NSFW SMUT

2794 words

Contains: Slight Impact play | Bondage | Breath play | Unprotected sex | Public sexual activity | Orgasm denial | Dominance and Submission | Wax Play | Hair Pulling | scratching | Light Blood Play |

You woke up to the sound of the front door closing and your boyfriend, San, shuffling around the house. You rolled over and saw the time. 9:30 am. You heard his small giggles get louder as he approached the bedroom. San walked into the room with a box and a boxcutter. "San what are you doing?" You mumbled half awake. He sat at the end of the bed facing away from you and started opening the box, continuing to snicker to himself. Once he opened the box and started playing with what was inside his playful giggling became slightly maniacal. "I was worried this wasn't going to arrive on time."

You sat up and crawled towards San wrapping your arms around his shoulders, still not quite completely awake yet. Your drowsiness subsided a bit when you realised he was holding a small, purple, insertable vibrator.

You pointed at it.

"We have enough of those why did you get another one."

San removed your hands from his shoulders and gently pushed you onto the bed. "This one is different." He began explaining while sitting on top of you. "This one has a wireless remote..... I can control it from anywhere."

"Is there any reason why you wanted this to arrive today?" You asked. "We have a double date lunch with Wooyoung and Seonghwa today." He paused briefly to kiss you. "And I want to see how long you can last before you start begging." He said in an extremely patronizing tone. He jumped up and went to the shower. You didn't know how to react to what just happened. You did all the stuff you typically do while San is showering. As usual, you were ready to shower right when he was finished, he thinks it's a coincidence but you actually timed it because you like seeing him right after he showers.

"Tell me when you're done showering and keep the door unlocked." He said while walking past you back into the bedroom. You did as he said and unsurprisingly, he walked in with the vibrator and a small bottle of lube. He put them both on the bench "Come here." He said while aggressively pulling you toward him. He held you close and kissed you. Without warning, he suddenly slipped one of his fingers into you, it wasn't painful since he had a small amount of lube on his finger but it was slightly uncomfortable since you weren't expecting it. You reflexively moved because of it.

San held you tighter trying to stop you from wriggling. "Stop squirming." He chided. He fingered you slowly and with his other hand, he gently stroked your hair. "I've been a bit bored lately, " He explained. "You've been busy and we haven't had much time to do something fun." He slid his fingers in deeper causing you to gasp a little. He looked at you. "There?" He asked. You nodded and he smiled. Once he thought it was time he picked up the vibrator. "Look at me," San demanded. He slowly inserted the vibrator inside of you, you owned a few vibrators but you could really feel this one because of the way it's curved. It wasn't even turned on yet.

San turned it on and your knees buckled slightly, it caused you to break eye contact with him. San forcefully grabbed your face and pulled your head up.

"Look. At. Me." He growled and then smiled. "This is only the mid setting." He laughed. "I am going to fucking ruin you today."

He grabbed your hand. "Don't forget this is the non-verbal safe word." He said while drawing a circle and then an X on your palm with his finger.

He turned it off but not before briefly turning it to the highest setting just to fuck with you. He put the remote in his pocket.

You took a moment to both recover and mentally prepare for what San was going to do to you. You continued to get ready for the day.

You and San both arrived at a small strip mall cafe and sat down at a table. You weren't waiting long before you heard Wooyoung's distinctive shrilly chatting down the street. "Hiiii San," Wooyoung said loudly. "Hi y/n." Seonghwa leaned down to San and spoke in a hushed tone. "I will be back in a minute he hasn't shut up the whole way here and I need a break from him."

Wooyoung sat down and scanned the menu that was taped to the table.

"How have you been," San asked him. "I've been well for the most part," He replied while tapping his feet. "Seonghwa hasn't been home much recently though."

"Oh, why is that?" You interjected.

Wooyoung draped over the table. "He says he has to work overtime."

"Woo get up please we can't see the menu," San said.

"Sorry." He sat back up. While choosing what you wanted to eat you felt San gently hold your hand and saw him put his other hand in his pocket and then shortly after you felt the vibrator turn on which caused you to grip his hand, he gripped back. Seonghwa returned.

"I'll go in and order just tell me what you want. I come here a lot with my coworkers so I have the menu memorised." Said Seonghwa.

Wooyoung and San both told Seonghwa what they wanted and then it was your turn. As soon as you started telling him what you wanted, San turned the vibrator up a bit higher, making it slightly difficult to get your words out. After you told him what you wanted, he looked over to San skeptically and went inside to order. San turned the vibrator back down, though this made it easier to talk and function you also wanted him to turn it up again.

Seonghwa came back with some drinks, sat down and placed a small black object on the table. "They will be 5 minutes." He announced.

"What is that for?" You pointed at the black square on the table that Seonghwa brought with him from inside. "That's a coaster pager it vibrates and beeps when our food is ready." He explained.

"Ah, that's kinda c-..." You couldn't finish your sentence since San had suddenly turned the vibrator up quite high. "Are you okay?" Wooyoung asked concerned.

Seonghwa appeared to be quietly giggling to himself.

You tried your best to engage in conversation with everyone without making it obvious what San was doing to you. The small pager on the table went off and the moment it did San turned the vibe up very high. He had timed it so that it would mask the sound. All you could do it lay your head on the table and focus on not moaning. "Sit up, Seonghwa won't be able to put the food on the table otherwise."

You pulled yourself off the table and San quickly whispered in your ear.

"You're not allowed to cum if you do I'll make sure you can't walk for a week."

Seonghwa placed the food you all ordered on the table and Wooyoung immediately started eating. He placed his arm around Wooyoung's shoulder and also started eating while talking about.......what are we talking about? All you can think about is your boyfriend and trying not to cum. "Are you going to eat?" You heard Seonghwa ask you. Your brain started somewhat functioning again. "Yeah I- I was just distracted by something."

Seonghwa smiled to himself. "Yeah, I know you are." He looked directly at San. "Text me where you got it from." You choked on your food, realising that he knew exactly what was going on. "Get what from? Is he okay? What is going on?" Wooyoung questioned. "Don't worry about it, just don't blame me for what's going to happen to you in about 2 weeks." San giggled. Wooyoung was still very confused. You began trying to eat your food when suddenly San placed his hand on your thigh, you realised then how much your leg was shaking. He pressed down a squeezed your leg trying to stop you from shaking so much.

You continued chatting and eating and reached for your drink.

San turned up the vibrator to the highest setting causing you to spill the drink on yourself, you didn't have time to react to that however as you realised you had failed to stop yourself from cumming. At least the water all over your pants hid any evidence. You grabbed San's hand and drew a circle and an X on his palm with your finger, signalling for him to stop. He turned it off. Wooyoung went to help you but Seonghwa stopped him. He and San both looked at each other. "I assume you're leaving early." Laughed Seonghwa. San helped you up. "Yeah." San moved your plate toward Wooyoung. "You can eat the rest." Wooyoung leaned back in his chair. "I'm so lost...." He said.

You and San both left and walked into a single stall bathroom together. "Did you cum?" He asked while helping you clean up. "Yes." You answered. "Pathetic." He jeered. You removed the vibrator and put it in your pocket before leaving.

You got home and San threw you on the bed wasting absolutely no time and attacking you with kisses. You felt him grinding against you.  You kind of found it cute how easily and quickly he got hard. He stopped and walked over to a box where you kept all your toys and laid out everything he was going to use and then took off his shirt.

He positioned himself on top of you, grabbed your hands and placed them on his chest. "This is the only chance you get to touch me before I tie you up." You dragged your hands down his body and then sat up and pulled him towards you. He hugged you. You took the opportunity to mess with him a little bit, after all he put you through today (and what he was about to put you through) you wanted a bit of revenge.

There was one place that made San weak. You licked up from the base of his neck to his ear and his nails dug into your back. He let out a small moan. You bit down gently on his ear and you felt his entire body relax. "Fuck you." You heard him say quietly and slightly angrily. He pushed you down and firmly held down your wrists. He abruptly grabbed your neck and squeezed hard. "You didn't think you would actually get away with that, did you? Especially not after you're already in trouble for cumming without permission." He kissed you deeply which only made it harder to breathe. He stopped choking you and started kissing your neck while unbuttoning your shirt.

He took a ribbon and tied your hands together and then tied the rest of the ribbon to the bed. He began kissing down your body, biting occasionally. He took a red candle. "I think this is the one that burns the most." He said while lighting it. San held the candle over you and you watched the wax slowly melt, when it hit your skin the pain was sharp and sudden, the wax cooled quite quickly so the burning didn't last long, however, there was a lasting subtle feeling of heat and sensitivity. You flinched each time it dripped onto you which San clearly enjoyed. Eventually, he had covered most of your torso with hot wax.

San then held the candle over his neck and let it drip onto his skin, he winced but evidently liked the feeling of it. He let it drip a few more times before blowing the candle out. He peeled the pieces of wax off of you as well as the few drips on his neck revealing small red burn marks. He took the time to kiss the burn marks which was slightly painful. San took off your pants as well as his and flipped you over, he hit and aggressively grabbed your ass. "I saw this recently so I'm going to see if it has the same effect on you." You looked back at him. "What is it?" You asked. San lubed up a very small corded bullet vibrator and inserted it as far into you as he could.

He then slowly eased himself into you,

you had never had someone fuck you with a vibrator inside you at the same time. San held your head down. "I'm only going slow right now because I feel generous." He said. Because of the vibrator it felt like he was going much deeper than he actually was. He smacked the back of your thigh hard which made you yelp.

"Does that hurt?" San asked.

"Yes." You answered.

"Good." He said while hitting you again. He pulled your hair, forcing your head back.

You could feel his other hand tightly gripping your waist, you could feel him pull your hair harder after every few thrusts. He let go of your hair and pulled out to remove the vibrator. "I can't be too rough with the vibrator or it might get lost," San said while turning you over again to lay on your back. He untied the ribbon that was restraining you giving you a short break before changing to 2 ropes. He tied your wrists to opposite sides of the bed having your arms effectively stuck to the mattress. San leaned over you and cupped your face with his hands.

"You're so cute." He said gently while sliding his hands down your face and neck. When his fingers reached your chest he dragged his nails down your torso, his nails caught on the burn marks from the candle and it felt as if he was dripping wax on you again. You inhaled sharply because of the pain and as you did San suddenly slammed into you. He grabbed your leg and put it over his shoulder which helped him get a better angle. He placed his hand on your neck tightly. You could hear his breath begin to become shakey, he put more of his weight onto your neck.

"You're not allowed to cum you have already cum once today." He let go of your neck and put two of his fingers in your mouth, impulsively you bit down a little. San pushed down forcing your mouth open.

"No biting." You had to grip the bed because of how rough he was being with you, even though you were tied down it felt as if you didn't hold on you would fall off. He suddenly stopped. "You're bleeding, should we stop?" You realised the rope had rubbed and cut into your wrists as well as bleeding from San going a bit too hard. You looked up at San.

"I don't think it's an issue." You said.

He untied you and lifted your wrist up to his mouth. Still fucking you, but less aggressively, he licked the small amount of blood off you. He immediately leaned in and kissed you, going back to the fast pace he was going at earlier.

The taste was metallic. He tangled one of his hands into your hair, his other arm around your waist. You could feel his sweat dripping onto you, the heat from his body slightly re agitated the burn marks. San pulled his face away from yours and buried his face in your neck, his grip tightened and you could feel his body shudder.

You put your arms around him and he stopped and you felt him relax, practically melting into you.

"Did you-" before you could finish your sentence San interrupted.

"We've had sex how many times and you still can't tell when I've cum?" He said breathlessly. He jumped up. "I should have known you would bleed I should have used a towel. Does it hurt?"

You shook your head. "Nothing really hurts more than usual."

San went and got a towel and a few other things to take care of you. After you had both cleaned everything and put on clothes San sat on top of as he often likes to do. He gently lifted your shirt.

"What now? Are you still not satisfied?"

"I'm not doing anything like that," San replied.

He placed his thumb on a part of your stomach and you felt a sort of cold sensation.

"I'm treating your burn marks." He attentively treated every small little wax burn on your body, you slowly started to drift off to sleep due to how exhausted he had made you. Before you fell complete asleep you felt San lean into you close to your ear. He whispered.

"I love you."